5 Things Your Middle Schoolers Need To Hear From You

By Diana Eastman

If we are being totally honest, middle school can be rough. It is such a transitional time, where students are balancing friendships, handling their hormones and seeking independence. Middle school students can be awkward and hard to understand sometimes, but at the end of the day, they are kids who still need guidance and support from the caring adults around them.

As their teacher, they may take a comment you make about them and hold onto it for a lifetime. The things you say to a middle school student can become the way they start internally talking about themselves. They are receiving so many mixed messages from friends, the media, and their parents, that it can be difficult to know what is true. As a significant role model in their lives, these are the 5 things your middle schoolers need to hear from you to be successful.

You Have Not Peaked- So many middle schoolers spend their days comparing themselves to others. They always find someone who is prettier, stronger, faster, smarter, or more popular than they are and obsess about being like that person. They are convinced that they’ll never measure up, and that who they are now is who they will always be. It’s important to remind them that they have so much growing to do and that this is not it for them. They have so much more life ahead, and they can’t spend time wishing they were someone else. Remind them that they are exactly who they are supposed to be at this moment in time and that they should be excited for the growth and improvements that are yet to come.

Think Before You Tweet
Or text. Or Snap. Or Comment. Or Share. Social media, when used correctly, is a great tool to share life’s moments and connect with the world. However, when abused by emotional, hormonal, reckless teenagers with not-yet-fully-developed brains, it can have lasting consequences. Teach your students how fast pictures and comments can be shared, and share stories about how social media played a part in ruining relationships and lives. Explain your expectations of how your students should use social media and teach them to be safe online.

Think Carefully About Your Friends
As a middle school student, friends are everything. In this fragile stage of life, what their friends say and do is of top priority for most pre-teens. Acknowledge the importance of a solid group of friends, but remind them to be leaders, not followers. Remind them that when it comes to friends, quality is way more important than quantity. Although middle school is the definition of a popularity contest, hearing from a trusted teacher that they don’t have to sacrifice their morals or values just to be “cool” could save a student a lifetime of heartbreak.

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok
Being a middle school student can be an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes they aren’t even sure why they are so angry or sad, and have a hard time sorting out their feelings and communicating them effectively. Teachers should keep an eye out for students who seem unmotivated, angry, depressed or lonely. Taking the time to let these students know you see them and are worried about their well-being can go a long way. Remind them that it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or misunderstood, but that you are someone that they can go to with their problems, judgment-free.

Lose The Labels
So many 6th, 7th and 8th-grade students consume themselves with labels. It is a way for them to process where they fit in within their peer groups and helps establish their identity. Students want so badly to fit in, so they work hard to seek out groups that make them feel validated. Some get involved in sports and find their confidence in their abilities on the field. Others work tirelessly to maintain a 4.0 GPA to showcase their strengths in academics. Students need to hear that these labels are not indicative of their worth. They are worthy of love and appreciation because of who they are, not because of what they can do. They could break a leg and be off the team, then what? Would they see themselves as worthless since they could no longer play? Help them see that it is not the labels they put on themselves and others that define them, but instead it is their character and the way they treat other people.

Middle school students receive a lot of advice and information from a wide range of outside sources. They take these messages, do their best to sort through them with limited experience to work with, and use them to help navigate their way through the crazy middle school years. As their teacher, it is vital that the messages they receive from you are positive, empowering, supportive, honest and productive. How you speak to them and what you say to them will become a part of their inner dialogue. Help them talk nicely to themselves by speaking nicely to and about them. They want so badly to hear the truth from the people they look up to the most. And by reminding them of their potential and value,  and by saying the things they need to hear, you will absolutely change the course of their lives.